“Yesterday is gone. Tomorrow has not yet come. We have only today. Let us begin.” -Mother Teresa


Welcome to my musings…

I started writing about some of the experiences I’d encountered about this time last year after my paranormal journey suddenly took a strange and unexpected turn. A twist catalyzed by the death of a loved one, an investigation at a very interesting place, an obscure copy of a quantum physics manuscript and the not so coincidental meeting of people with whom we would all find ourselves tumbling down the rabbit hole together…each having a unique piece of the paranormal puzzle the other needed.

In the last year I have been all over the country chasing answers that sprang up quite suddenly in one crazy night in the dark of a dusty attic. Thousands of new friends and thousands of messages from the Other Side later…my entire world has been flipped inside out. I’ve had to reconsider every thought I’ve ever had, every answer I thought I knew and pause before naysaying anything, any story I hear or that another person, gratefully, chooses to share with me…usually prefaced by the phrase, “I hope you don’t think I’m crazy…but…” Crazy, for me it seems, is the new normal.

In sharing the journals, notes and EVP messages with you…I hope that perhaps you’ll find a piece of that puzzle that you need, too….and share your own stories, concerns, questions that my words spark-maybe igniting a new conversation that will push us all one step closer. Together.

I wouldn’t have been ready to publish this last year as it was happening. There were too many moments I was confused and didn’t understand which I have a little more clarity about now. Too many times I thought I knew what was going on but clearly didn’t. Even today….these last few weeks…having witnessed mind blowing evidence and experiences happening within the research – I’m not quite ready to discuss it. Still mulling it over. Trying to understand it all. Although, when the time is just right to talk about it, I’ll be excited and more than ready to share it.

I spent some time thinking about whether I really wanted to publish these thoughts, ideas and experiences. The decision was tough as all of this is deeply meaningful and personal. In the end, the main spirit of being involved in paranormal work lies not only in finding answers for ourselves but, for many of us, in helping others get the answers they need too. It’s an interesting side note that the entities we encounter need just as much help, often have just as many questions and we have found ourselves all tangled up together in this massive but intricate ball…connected…helping each other rather symbiotically. The foundation and key seems to all lay on this idea of Help.

So, I hope very much….this helps you. I must have asked myself a thousand times… “who would care enough to read this? And why?” I guess the very best answer that perpetually springs up is…Me. I will read it. When I am old and gray and, maybe, 90. Me when I can sit back with a cup of hot tea and decide I’m ready to look back again and be reminded of the journey from here to there. Me, hopefully still working out and doing yoga…not looking too bizarre with my shriveled up tattoos. Me getting ready for the next leg of the journey…..perhaps the greatest journey of them all. Hoping to be reminded of things that will help me on my way. Hopefully with far more answers than questions. Hopefully with children and family thriving. Hopefully still ridiculously in love with my soul mate. Hopefully…..smiling at these words and shaking my head at how much I thought I knew….and how far off I was from time to time…and how much more I learned.

Don’t mock me too much, old me. Tip a little something stronger in that tea…..and begin the journey back to where it all began…


With Cristl Phillips, Head of SJVPR in the sound room going over investigations audio. 11/2009